
I prefer my hands clean before I start digging into something new. I’ve noticed along the way, many people do not share this view. Actually, maybe it’s half and half. Some people can carry the weight of the world and keep moving… keeping throwing things on the pile.
A lot of it for me is… I like knowing why things happened, and how it can be controlled. Scream “control freak”, I’m being honest here… but, on the other side of that, I get to know myself very well and in turn maybe others don’t get to because I already poured it down and flushed it away, never to be seen or thought of again. This is an old view… I used to have.
I don’t walk around with people who haven’t witnessed my personal failures… it’s more like, if I know that a relationship is not going to evolve or is keeping me from moving forward or simply, making me feel guilty, I used to get rid of it any way I could.
People come down on themselves for holding certain patterns and avoiding certain types of people and make it seem like it’s a horrible thing and the same mistakes are doomed to be repeated just because things feel familiar.
I don’t think this…
We act as though we all have mental problems because relationships don’t work out, but you really can’t do the same thing twice the exact way. There are nuances to every situation and person. It’s all essence and momentary and beautiful things are possible even through bad historical data. We are not robots and every experience whether or not it is attached to a person and a series of events, is a part of you as a whole.
I think that there is someone for everyone and you come across certain souls for a reason and are drawn in even closer like a magnet to others and it’s to gain experiences, get richer, get deeper, play show and tell and immortalize your spirit with someone.
I come back to the idea and belief that even within myself, everything is connected…. body mind and soul to the point where I can’t distinguish thoughts from feelings and dreams from feelings and premonitions from physical manifestations. Wow, I sound crazy trying to explain it. But, it’s true. I will come across an example one of these days and explain it less crazy.
Lets face it… in developed areas of the world especially, we’ve become all too sterile and we forget that we’ve got to get dirty, hurt, used, abused to build strength in our character. The heart is a muscle, not a bone.
(This is a pep-talk to myself… btw)